Gift of life

It seems like only a lucky few are privy to life. Really living, not mearly existing.

As we are born, we are given a gift of life. God graces us with this gift because He thinks us worthy. As todlers, this gift gives us hours of entertainment. Learning in bounces and leaps and sometimes falls and scrapes. But we live life to the fullest and everything amaizes us.

Then we become teenagers. We stop seeing the world and life as a wonder and a gift. Our priorities change and our sences grinds to a halt. We seem to be in agony. Its hard to get up in the morning, we rebel against everything. We become over dramatic, over sensitive and selfish. We cocoon oursleves into a zombilike state and pour oursleves into nothingness. Caring only about oursleves. Life is hard and unforgiving, unfair and SO NOT worth the hassles. We cannot wait to grow up so that we can stop following the rules thrust apon us by our unloving parents. Then we can go out, do what we want and say what we want. Screw everyone! If only we knew then what we know now.

Teenage hormones forgotten, we grow up into healthy young adults. FINALLY! What an amaizing time of our lives! We get to make our own decisions (not always the wizest, but our own nevertheless), drive our own cars (which our uncaring parents bought....I might have been a little harsh about that statement *shy face*), we can go out with friends till all hours of the morning, we don't even have to come home. Clubbing, trying new things (some good, some bad). We are so caught up in ourselves and the future just waiting to be discovered, we have long forgotten the gift entrusted to us. Some of us will not live long enough to see the future, this stage of our lives we seem to be wreckless and we seem invinsible. What can go wrong? We take every day for granted. Having eyes but not seeing. Having ears but not hearing.

From here on end, the years start to fly by. Between building a career and raizing a family there is not much time to ponder the gifts of life, only the survival of your small little family that you struggled so hard to protect all these years. You can sometimes catch glimpses of the gift you forgot about long ago, in the joyfull faces of your small children, but it slips away to soon.

We grow old, some graciously, some not so much. Some of us have lost our partners and are left with our memories of when we were invinsible. All the regrets and heartache of things not experienced. Now we see our children and grandchildren and pray that they will be spared the hardships you had to endure along the way.

And then one day our eyes open to the truth. We realize that we had a wonderous gift. We missused and abused it, took it for granted. We did not SEE life. We mearly existed from one stage of our lives to the next. NOW we SEE and we wish for more time to appreciate life. But alas, time waits for no man. So one sad day, we will not be opening our eyes to the beauty of this life and be gone from this earth.

Do not let your gift fade away amidst the hardships of life. Appreciate your gift and live life to the fullest. Everyday is a miracle. LOOK and you will SEE. Be still forĀ  moment everyday, and you will see, there IS enough time in the day to live, enjoy and experience life as it was meant to be.

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Dispair

I was lost. Found myself in the deepest, darkest pit of my formally unsaved soul.
How did I get back here? I have seen the light, I have touched everlasting life. Why am I back here?
Anguished screams from dark corners keeps me awake. Claw marks on the walls of my soul keeps me on edge. Who else was here with me? What did they want? How long have they been here?
No light! I keep searching.... I thought a soul was supposed to be smooth, soft, fragile.....I was wrong!
This place, this soul......MY soul, was rough, blood stained with scratch marks and peeling flesh everywhere. The stench of decay filling my nostrils.
When I woke up in darkness, I did not recognise it as mine, but now it seems familiar. I recognise some of the marks, I made them, clawing at the walls to get out.
Darkness, depression, loneliness......Why am I here!? What have I done wrong? Why Lord, why?
Dark despair falls over me, I can feel the tears falling, my chest burning. It ripps through me.
Just as I thought the despair will devour me whole, I feel a caress. A soft breeze fluttering around me. With it, a faint light.... Hope? My shattered heart and raw soul started to feel it.
In the distance I can see a very faint light moving towards me. As it gets bigger, I get up.
I can feel the warmth of the light thaw out the ice on the walls of my soul. A fluttering of relief wisps past me. I can't quite grasp it with my hand, but my fingertips lightly caresses it.
With the brief touch, a tingling skipped up my arm to find a home in my heart.
The light moving towards me is slowly becoming brighter and brighter. In a few heartbeats so bright that it blinds me. It reaches my toes, moves up my legs, spreading warmth wherever it touches. Wherever the light touched the darkness dissipates.
The darkness, depression and loneliness folds under love, peace and hope.
As the light enfolds me, so does the warmth and love of a familiar presence. I fell to my knees; "Oh God, I thought you have left me!" I cried.
He said lovingly; "I bring you to this place, this minefield of despair, of depression, of hopelessness...your past...to remind you where you come from. To remind you what you've accomplished since then, to remind you that I am your heavenly Father, your God, and NOTHING is impossible for Me. In Me you are saved. In Me you have broken your bondage. In Me you are love. I am God. I will not forsake you. I will always be there to lift you up if only you let Me."
 
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